Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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