i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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