I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
