Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need to calm my uterus...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
