I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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