You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
