i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
