Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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