i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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