i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
