Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize