Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
