I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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