That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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