i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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