update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
