Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
