thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
