so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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