Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
