youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She's the barista slut.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
