My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
