maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
