i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
