When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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