Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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