After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
