Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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