Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize