Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
