He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
