yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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