I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
