Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
