I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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