too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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