Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
