If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
