new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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