I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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