There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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