you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
