My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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