Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
