weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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