I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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