HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
