I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
