I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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