how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He did a backflip because drugs
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
