we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just googled if crying burns calories
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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