I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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