she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
