your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Randomize
