Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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