So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
