So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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