if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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