Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Enjoy the penises
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
